Facing the Holidays

If your adult son seems stuck in his childlike ways and is struggling to live life independently, he may need outside help to overcome his “failure to thrive.” For someone struggling with this can have a harder time being around family during the holidays.

 

You can face the holidays better by overcoming your Failure to Launch syndrome. Forte Strong, located in St. George, Utah, offers a safe space for men to learn how to live up to their full potential.

 

Forte Strong is a national life coaching, therapy, and independent living program dedicated to teaching men the necessary skills to be independent.

 

Your son may need help if he’s showing the following five signs in his day-to-day life.

Lacks the desire to live and succeed on their own

 

You may find yourself frustrated with your “lazy,” “unfocused, “unmotivated” adult child who seems completely comfortable not supporting himself. Men who struggle with growing up, also known as Failure to Launch Syndrome, experience a lack of motivation or a failure to launch themselves into adulthood and out of their parent’s house.

Has difficulty keeping a steady job

 

You may notice that your son doesn’t have the capability of keeping a job for a consistent amount of time, whether it be because he lacks the skills his employee is expecting from him or he constantly shows up late or misses days because he doesn’t have the motivation to go.

 

He may also bounce from job to job because he has a hard time discovering a path that he is interested in or simply doesn’t have the patience to stay in one field to find if he likes it or not.

 

Has poor communication and social skills

 

Adult males who struggle with independency and growing up may struggle with the communication and social skills it takes to navigate adulthood. You may notice these poor skills when they react to stress by withdrawing and becoming irritated. Your son will show signs of struggling with communicating in social situations appropriately or have a lack of interest in connecting with people around him. When someone struggles with social skills, understanding how relationships are formed often seems foreign to them, so they avoid socializing together.

Battles substance abuse (drugs or alcohol)

 

It is common for any individual to combat a problem or stressor with an unhealthy coping mechanism: drugs and alcohol. If they are already struggling with dependency and stability, it is likely they will turn to drugs and alcohol to manage their stress. They may find themselves stuck which leads them to disconnect with substances, leading to an addiction or abuse problem.

 

Struggles to manage finances on their own

 

If your son is struggling with entering adulthood, having financial dependency is common. Men who have this difficulty need to continue relying on their parents for financial support because they can’t keep a steady job. Even if they do have a job, they will often struggle to save money or know how to budget, so they easily spend it on useless things.

 

Other “signs my son needs help” include:

 

  • Commitment issues
  • Unreliable
  • Emotional instability
  • Lack of accountability and blaming others
  • The expectation for others to take care of them
  • Procrastination
  • Refuses to take constructive criticism
  • Refuses to leave their childhood home
  • Prioritizes fun activities over adult responsibilities
  • Befriending children instead of individuals their age

 

Your son may exhibit more signs than this or only exhibit some of them. Coaches and therapists in the Forte Strong program can help your son overcome these challenges and others like social anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, depression impulsivity, defiance, ADHD, low self-esteem, video game addiction, and other dependency issues that hold them back. 

 

You can fill out an eligibility questionnaire on its website to determine if your son would be a good fit for its program. This program may also help solidify the signs my son needs help.

 

Why send your son to Forte Strong 

 

Forte Strong is structured around one niche

 

Forte Strong is only for men who are failing to launch into adulthood and out of their childlike tendencies. Your son won’t be surrounded by people with other struggles like drugs, violence, theft, etc. The program will offer him help to overcome his failure to thrive while allowing him to create meaningful relationships with the young men around him that have the same struggle.

 

Your son can achieve independence in 6-9 months

 

Forte Strong will provide your son with the resources to develop the skills necessary to become self-reliant and independent in 6-9 months. Your son can achieve independence and maturity in a short time to launch into the “real world” quicker than he would be attempting to overcome his difficulties by himself.

 

Your son will develop, understand and respect his strengths

 

Forte Strong will teach your son how to unlock his strengths and use them correctly. Your greatest strengths can also be your greatest weaknesses. Forte Strong uses the tool of fire as an example. Fire can help you or hurt you, depending on how it is used. Fire can keep you warm outside or light your way in the dark, but it can also burn down bridges or homes. Our strengths are like fire. We need to use them correctly for them to be beneficial. A child can create destruction if they haven’t learned how to utilize their strengths correctly. The program will help your son understand and use his strengths to succeed in life.

 

Promotes engaging and purposeful work

 

Forte Strong will help your son out of his “failure to thrive” state by inspiring him to dedicate himself to achieving his goals. Every man should love his work and work with a purpose, and that is what the program promotes to their men. Your son will grow from the inside out and learn what he stands for and believes in. Their website states: “Many of our young men come to Forte Strong believing they are not capable of getting a good job, being promoted, or even making more than minimum wage. In just a few weeks, we are able to help these young men break these self-limitations by helping them discover their purpose and understand the ‘why’ behind their actions.”

Forte Strong focuses on the journey and destination

 

The Forte Strong program is not a rehabilitation center; it’s a journey the men go through to advance from their failure to thrive. The program does not focus on just graduating because that often symbolizes an end rather than a steppingstone to their journey through building independence. The men who visit Forte Strong will be taught about their continual progress and growth.

 

Living with a purpose

 

Living life with a purpose means that you have a reason to wake up in the morning and that you are living life with a goal in mind. Your purpose in life is specific, directed, and precise. Everyone has unique characteristics that give them a unique purpose and function. Knowing your characteristics help you to find your purpose.

 

To find your purpose, you need to experience and explore different things that teach you about yourself. For example, if you are someone who is caring and thinks about others before making decisions, then you might find something in the field of helping others, such as humanitarian work.

 

Your purpose doesn’t need to be work-related; it can involve a hobby. If you love to learn new things, you may find yourself learning languages, fixing things in the house that are broken, refinishing old items, etc.

 

Discovering your purpose comes down to figuring out what you love to do and giving yourself a reason to do things.

 

If you know someone or you yourself have experienced a failure to thrive, it’s important that the individual talks to someone about what they’re going through. The most damage comes from ignoring the problem.

 

The solution may be as simple as working with your parents to overcome the challenges of entering adulthood. You may also want to seek outside help like Forte Strong.

 

How to help without enabling

 

If you’ve seen signs of “failure to thrive” in your son and feel as though you’ve enabled the behavior, there are ways you can help turn things around.

 

First, it is vital for you to discontinue enabling your child who has these struggles. You need to draw the line between letting him learn how to stand on his own and bailing him out. You need to set boundaries with your child by letting them know you are there to listen and offer advice, but it will be better for them if they learn how to figure it out on their own.

 

If you continue to rescue your child from their situations, it is sending them a message saying, “you’re not competent to make it on your own,” so they don’t try to fix things on their own because they feel like they can’t.

 

To go along with the previous example, if your son has moved back in, you should encourage them to be independent by giving them stipulations for living there such as pitching in on rent, buying their own food, doing their own laundry, and helping with household chores. This allows them to see that you are being supportive by allowing them to come back home, but not letting them cross the boundary of you taking care of them.

 

The following are examples to help motivate your child toward healthy independence and avoid failure to thrive:

 

  • Encourage your child to contribute to rent if they have a job
  • Don’t constantly give spending money without seeing an effort on their part toward independence
  • Agree on a time limit of how long the child is expected to move out
  • If you can afford it, offer to help with starting costs of renting an apartment
  • Limit how much you solve your child’s crisis. Instead, encourage them to find a solution by asking what their ideas are
  • Attend support groups if your child has a substance abuse problem
  • Don’t be too quick to offer help that enables your child. If they ask for money, tell them you need to talk it over with your spouse or even ask them how they can help him without paying the full expense of what he is asking for help with.

Video Game Addiction: Signs to Look Out For

In this day in age, technology is a everyone’s fingertips and can lead to addictions, specifically a video game addiction. It is possible to play video games as a hobby, but when it starts to consume your entire life where you don’t focus on anything else, it becomes detrimental.

 

According to Forte Strong’s website, individuals on this planet spend 3 billion hours per week playing video games. Seventy-two percent of citizens from the age of 6 to 44 years old in the United States play over 18 hours per week, which also calculates to be 3.6 hours per day.

 

If your son is struggling with a video game addiction, he can get help at Forte Strong to overcome this addiction and develop the skills to become a responsible adult. Forte Strong is a nation life coaching, therapy, and independent living program dedicated to teaching men the necessary skills to being independent.

 

It is common for young men experiencing Failure to Launch Syndrome to also have a video game addiction. While they isolate from face-to-face social interactions, they can still have a social experience online by interacting with others online. These young men get their social fix by being challenged in video games to beat level challenges. On top of the challenge, they oftentimes will meet and chat with the other players online as they game.

 

What is video game addiction?

 

If you have a severely reduced control over your gaming habits that results in negative impacts on your life, you could be suffering from video game addiction. This addiction can lead to interruptions to your personal, social, educational and occupational responsibilities.

 

People who have gambling addictions often show the same signs and withdrawals as those who experience video game addictions. They both come with the satisfaction of winning at something, even though video games isn’t something you normally win money from.

 

Why is it detrimental?

 

It is normal for people to play video games in their downtime and not become addicted; however, it becomes detrimental when it is all-consuming and negatively impacting your daily functions. A video game addiction can cause significant mental, social, and physical health issues.

 

Gaming behavior that is concerning to mental health experts is when someone has a recurring habit that comes at the expense of their functioning outside of games.

 

It’s vital that you seek help if you start to notice your video game habits becoming addictive and damaging your close relationships.

 

Signs of video game addiction

 

Dependency on video games can become as serious problem if it’s left untreated. The following are signs and symptoms to watch out for in a video game addiction:

  • Poor performance at school, work or household responsibilities as a result of excessive video game playing
  • Personal hygiene or grooming decrease due to excessive video gaming
  • Lying to family members or friends about the amount of time you spend playing video games
  • Unable to reduce your playing time and having unsuccessful attempts to quite gaming despite the negative consequences
  • Experiencing withdrawal symptoms such as sadness, anxiety, or irritability when games are taken away or gaming is not possible
  • A need to spend more time playing video games to get the same level of enjoyment
  • Using video games to relieve negative moods such as guild or hopelessness
  • Using video games as a way to escape stressful situations or to avoid conflicts
  • Giving up other previously enjoyed activities or social relationships due to gaming too much

If you have concerns about you or someone you know struggling with a video game addiction based on these signs and symptoms, reach out to a mental health professional for help.

 

What causes video game addiction?

 

While researchers have not yet determined the exact cause of video game addiction, they think the process of playing and winning video games may trigger a release of dopamine. Dopamine is a brain chemical that affects several bodily functions including pleasurable reward and motivation. Recent neurological research shows similarities in the brains of people with video game addiction and substance use disorders.

 

Numerous factors contribute to video game addiction such as having traits like impulsiveness, higher acceptance of violence, and lower social skills. The level of motivation makes an impact on whether someone will become addicted to video games or not. For example, people who game for fun or to be  social seem less likely to become hooked than those who game for status or to escape from their problems. Males are also more prone to gaining a video game addiction.

 

How to get help

 

The main treatment for a video game addiction talk therapy, also known as psychotherapy. It’s a term for a variety of treatment techniques that aim to help you identify and change negative emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Talking with a mental health professional can provide support and guidance to you for whatever reason you’re seeking it.

 

Specific types of psychotherapy that would benefit someone with a video game addiction include:

  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): A structured, goal-oriented type of therapy. A therapist will help you take a close look at your thoughts and emotions. Your sessions with a therapist will help you understand how your thoughts affect your actions. Through CBT to treat video game addiction, you can unlearn negative and obsessive thoughts and behaviors and learn to adopt healthier thinking patterns and habits.
  • Group therapy: A group of people meets to describe and discuss their problems individually while being supervised by a therapist. Group therapy can provide a sense of motivation and moral support for people who struggle with a video game addiction, especially if they don’t have the support of any friends or family members.
  • Family or marriage counseling: If someone in a relationship suffers from a video game addiction, counseling can help educate loved ones about the disorder and create a more stable home environment.

 

Forte Strong has a treatment program for those wanting help with their video game addiction. Their students are able to put themselves in a different environment, see a different view of themselves, and learn the importance of being independent. The Forte Strong coaches teach young men how to utilize the technology in their lives to their benefit instead of letting it overtake their lives. The men learn how to overcome unhealthy habits, replace them with positive habits, and maintain a healthy balance in their lives.

Why send your son to Forte Strong 

Forte Strong is structured around one niche

 

Forte Strong is only for men who are failing to launch into adulthood and out of their childlike tendencies. Your son won’t be surrounded by people with other struggles like drugs, violence, theft, etc. The program will offer him help to overcome his failure to thrive while allowing him to create meaningful relationships with the young men around him that have the same struggle.

 

Your son can achieve independence in 6-9 months

 

Forte Strong will provide your son with the resources to develop the skills necessary to become self-reliant and independent in 6-9 months. Your son can achieve independence and maturity in a short time to launch into the “real world” quicker than he would be attempting to overcome his difficulties by himself.

 

Your son will develop, understand, and respect his strengths

 

Forte Strong will teach your son how to unlock his strengths and use them correctly. Your greatest strengths can also be your greatest weaknesses. Forte Strong uses the tool of fire as an example. Fire can help you hurt you, depending on how it is used. Fire can keep you warm outside or light your way in the dark, but it can also burn down bridges or homes. Our strengths are like the fire. We need to use them correctly for them to be beneficial. A child can create destruction if they haven’t learned how to utilize their strengths correctly. The program will help your son understand and use his strengths to succeed in life.

Promotes engaging and purposeful work

 

Forte Strong will help your son out of his failure to thrive state by inspiring him to dedicate himself to achieving his goals. Every man should love his work and work with a purpose, and that is what the program promotes to their men. Your son will grow from the inside out and learn what he stands for and believes in. Their website states: “Many of our young men come to Forte Strong believing they are not capable of getting a good job, being promoted, or even making more than minimum wage. In just a few weeks, we are able to help these young men break these self-limitations by helping them discover their purpose and understand the ‘why’ behind their actions.”

Forte Strong focuses on the journey and destination

 

The Forte Strong program is not a rehabilitation center; it’s a journey the men go through to advance from their failure to thrive. The program does not focus on just graduating because that often symbolizes an end rather than a stepping-stone to their journey through building independence. The men who visit Forte Strong will be taught about their continual progress and growth.

How to Help My Son Become More Independent

Young adults may have a difficult time transitioning from their youth into their adult lives. Everyone should learn how to be more independent by decreasing codependency in relationships, including romantic and family relationships.

Independent vs. codependent

You may be wondering what the difference is between independency and codependency in relationships.

Dependency is being able to rely on yourself for your basic needs like buying your own groceries and toiletries, cleaning and doing your own dishes and laundry, and paying your own rent.

It’s not a bad thing to want other people around you, and it’s normal for humans to want other people in their lives to fulfill their desire for companionship. It’s nice to have someone to talk to and engage in activities with people who have the same interests. This is where friendships and romantic relationships come into play. It is also normal for us to have close relationships with our families.

These relationships become unhealthy when we rely on someone else to fulfill all of our needs. Whether it be still living with your parents well into adulthood where your mother is still folding your laundry and buying you groceries or if you have moved out and live with a significant other and these responsibilities have transferred to them.

Codependency in relationships can become unhealthy and toxic for all parties involved if it is not addressed.

How to become more independent

Set boundaries

One aspect of codependency in relationships is a lack of boundaries. Setting boundaries allows you to speak up for yourself about how others should treat you. It takes consistency to build and maintain boundaries in your relationships, but as you identify the limits, you can become more independent yourself and help others around you with their independence as well.

Practice communication skills

To establish healthy boundaries in your relationships, you need to know how to communicate with those around you. Whether you have a significant other or you need to communicate your needs in a friendship or with family members, all types of relationships require the need for boundaries.

Having effective communication skills will help with your independence as if offers you the ability to speak for yourself which you will need in adulthood to make your own doctors’ appointments and is a crucial quality to have to obtain a job.

Practicing assertive communication will show that you are aware of your needs, can communicate those needs clearly, and can set and enforce clear boundaries.

Engage in activities you love

It is common for someone struggling with dependency to lack a sense of self. If you are aware that you need to be more independent, find hobbies to engage in on your own. Finding joyful activities will help you know yourself better.

Examples of hobbies you can do by yourself are:

Cooking
Baking
Pilates
Taking a relaxing bath
Reading
Writing in a journal
Painting or drawing
Walking in nature

If you are struggling with codependency in relationships, consider finding activities to participate in by yourself to 1) bring you more joy and 2) bring a sense of fulfillment.

Spend time alone

A vital aspect of independency is having the ability to be alone. This doesn’t mean to not try and make friends, but you should prioritize alone time and not always be in the presence of friends, family and coworkers. Spending time with your own thoughts or by doing things you love can bring you peace and confidence. It allows you to connect with yourself and strengthen your ability to regulate your emotions.

A 2020 study found that intentional solitude can positively impact emerging adults’ well-being and mental health. The author of the study suggests to spend time away from peers and other people to allow yourself to regroup away from life’s stressors. She also says that the absence of societal pressure provides for a great reflection of your thoughts, feeling and values.

Learn what you can control

If you have codependency tendencies, it can be difficult to watch someone you love make decisions that you don’t agree with. Remember that you can’t control other people’s behaviors, thoughts or feelings, just your own.

Let go of the feeling that you need to be responsible for others.

On the flipside, you may be struggling with dependency yourself and want to rely on other people to make all of your decisions for you. It’s not healthy for other people to make decisions for you because in the end, it’s going to affect you the most. You can practice this by making simple decisions on your own and getting advice on bigger decisions if you need, but keep in mind that it is up to you at the end of the day.

Be assertive

Being independent means taking charge of your life and making your own decisions. If you want something, don’t be afraid to go after it instead of waiting for someone else to help you. Adulthood is full of situations where you have to make decisions – some more difficult than others, so it’s important that you know how to make decisions for yourself.

Benefits of dependency

Encourages growth

Codependency in relationships encourage individuals to grow emotionally, socially, spiritually, and professionally. When someone gets comfortable relying on someone else for basic needs, they have a harder time becoming independent as they grow up.

Boosts confidence

Independence gives people a sense of confidence to handle what life throws their way. This is because they feel more prepared to act without waiting for permission from someone. Being more independent can lead to trying new things which can lead to more confidence and knowledge that you can do things on your own.

Freedom

With independence comes more freedom. When you become an adult, move out on your own and maybe even attend college, you will have more responsibilities, but you are also free to make your own choices. You can go places you want to, buy what you want, eat what you want, and much more without having to ask anyone for permission.

Having financial independence also brings on more freedom regarding money. When you are not relying on your parents to buy everything for you, you have total control over what you spend your money on because you are earning it yourself.

Promotes happiness/reduces stress

When you are emotionally independent, you can make your personal decisions and go experience challenges without someone by your side 24/7. It is important to have people who support you and that you can lean on, but it’s not healthy to be completely reliant on someone when you are going through difficult times. Being emotionally independent means, you can decrease your suffering and disappointment because you aren’t relying on someone else to meet your emotional needs.

Improves decision-making skills

You will be much more comfortable making decisions if you are confident in your independence because you have proven to yourself that you can make smart decisions for yourself. When you aren’t dependent on someone emotionally and financially, you are in a better position to make decisions because it is only affecting you and not someone else as well.

Overcoming the Fear of Choices at Forte Strong

You may have a young adult child who is struggling to live independently and need outside help from programs for struggling young adults to overcome his or her failure to thrive.

Typically males, rather than females, suffer from Failure to Launch or Peter Pan Syndrome, so if your son is showing signs of this syndrome, you can get him help at Forte Strong. It is one of several programs for struggling young adults located in St. George, Utah, that offers a safe space for men to learn how to live up to their full potential by developing skills to become responsible adults.

Signs to watch out for that your young adult child may need help are:

• Lacks the desire to succeed on his own
• Has difficulty keeping a steady job
• Has poor communication and social skills
• Battles substance abuse
• Struggles to manage finances on his own
• Commitment issues
• Unreliable
• Emotional instability
• Lack of accountability and blaming others
• The expectation for others to take care of them
• Procrastination
• Refuses to take constructive criticism
• Refuses to leave their childhood home
• Prioritizes fun activities over adult responsibilities
• Befriending children instead of individuals their age

If you notice your son exhibiting a fair number of these signs, it may be time to consider programs for struggling young adults.

Overcoming fear at Forte Strong

One of the causes of young adult men experiencing a form of Peter Pan Syndrome is anxiety. Individuals who struggle with anxiety can have a more difficult time transitioning to adulthood. They may feel like they are left to fend for themselves to tackle life decisions, support themselves and others, and commit to employment. It can be more difficult for a person who struggles with anxiety to venture into adulthood on their own, especially if the individual starts exhibiting these feelings near the end of adolescence.

This is where Forte Strong can be a helping hand for your son.

Forte Strong will provide your son with the resources to develop the skills necessary to become self-reliant and independent in 6-9 months. Your son can achieve independence and maturity in a short time to launch into the “real world” quicker than he would be attempting to overcome his difficulties by himself.

Forte Strong will also teach your son how to unlock his strengths and use them correctly. Your greatest strengths can also be your greatest weaknesses. Your strengths can be beneficial if you use them correctly; a child can create destruction if they haven’t learned how to utilize their strengths. The program will help your son understand and use his strengths to succeed in life.

Forte Strong is one of many choices in programs for struggling young adults to help them overcome the fear and anxiety about the choices ahead of them in the transition to adulthood.

Causes of Peter Pan Syndrome

Permissive parenting

Parents who allow their children to do whatever they choose to with minimal consequences are known as a permissive parenting style. It involves a lack of boundaries, expectations and rules. It leads to children yielding an entitled and unrealistic mentality when entering adulthood.

Overprotective parenting

On the other end of the spectrum is being too overprotective of your children. “Helicopter parenting,” as it is more popularly known, implies to children that the outside world is dangerous and they shouldn’t venture it alone. Children who grow up in a household like this may become overly attached and insecure; they may not develop the mentality or skills they need for a successful transition into adulthood.

Individuals who feel lonely by being forced into adulthood can lead them to regress into an earlier stage of life (childhood) in an effort to feel supported and loved again. It can be similar to feelings of anxiety that makes the individual want to avoid adult responsibilities and remain in their childlike ways for longer.

Enabling behavior

Peter Pan Syndrome only continues if another person, most likely loved ones, enable the behavior of the individual. By allowing their irresponsible and childish behavior to continue, the individual gets stuck in their ways.

Mental health diagnosis

The legal age for becoming an adult and leaving on your own is 18 years old. If someone is not independent by then and ready to move out of their childhood home, it creates a feeling of shame. If this is gone untreated, the feeling can result in a mental health condition, possibly leading to Peter Pan Syndrome or other issues like substance abuse and addiction.

Lack of direction

Not everyone knows what they want to do when they turn 18 and are expected to leave the house and gain an education. People who feel unclear about the direction they should take may find themselves stuck in a childlike state.

If you are searching for programs for struggling young adults, Forte Strong is an adequate choice in getting your son the help he needs to overcome his difficulties in transitioning to adulthood. Forte Strong will help your son out of his failure-to-thrive state by inspiring him to dedicate himself to achieving his goals. Every man should love his work and work with a purpose, and that is what the program promotes to their men. Your son will grow from the inside out and learn what he stands for and believes in.

How To Spot Unhealthy Behaviors in Young Adults Early On

Teenagers who are entering their young adult stage will experience a lot of changes in their lives from puberty to navigating the social world around them to their parents and teachers expecting them to move out on their own and go to a good college. It’s no wonder some individuals will struggle with this transition by showing signs of unhealthy behaviors in young adults.

Unhealthy behaviors to watch for

If you are a parent or guardian of a young adult, there are specific unhealthy behaviors in young adults you should watch out for.

Poor diet

The food you put in your body has a direct link to how your body functions throughout the day, what mood you are in, your energy levels, etc. If your teen or young adult is not getting the necessary nutrients, it can lead to further unhealthy behaviors in young adults.

Inadequate sleep

People must get the necessary sleep for their age range. A lack of sleep can lead to the inability to focus and a foul mood.

Low grades in school

Teens may struggle with grades in school due to a lack of understanding of the subject, lack of motivation to do the work or lack of concentration in class. Whatever it may be, there can be an underlying reason for the low grades that parents should sit down and resolve with their child.

Not willing to work

Teens obtaining a job during high school and into early adulthood is important because it builds responsibility and gives them a source of income for their adult expenses, college, and savings. This doesn’t mean that any teenager that doesn’t want to obtain a job is exhibiting unhealthy behaviors, but parents should look at the reasoning why they don’t want a job. Are they participating in extracurricular activities that will benefit their future or are they just unmotivated and don’t want to do work? An alternative option for parents to help their young adults make money is to pay them to do chores around the house and yard. If they aren’t even willing to do that, it may be a sign of unhealthy behavior.

Screen addiction

If you can’t seem to get your teen off of their video games, phones or from watching T.V., and it’s affecting their schoolwork, mood and levels of motivation, it is time to have a serious talk about their habits.

Three unhealthy habits

There are three vital aspects of a teen’s functionality that parents should ensure don’t get out of hand. If a teen or young adult struggles with these three bad habits, it can lead to unhealthy behaviors in young adults.

Skipping meals

Young adults can have various reasons for missing a meal whether it be waking up too late for breakfast before school or getting too busy with homework, socializing, or working.

When a teen or adult doesn’t eat every three to four hours, it impacts their blood sugar and mood. Without fuel food), their focus decreases, their energy diminishes, and emotions become harder to regulate. This is not an optimal choice for someone who is learning at school or a job throughout the day.

Caffeine intake

Caffeine exacerbates anxiety and dehydrates the body, so if a teen or young adult is drinking excessive amounts of caffeine, it can drastically affect the function of their body and brain. The 45-minute boost of energy they may get from the caffeine does more harm than good because when their body comes down from the elevation, they will feel an increased need for the caffeine. If someone is already struggling with depression and anxiety, caffeine can make it more difficult to manage.

That’s not to say they can never have caffeine, but it’s important that parents keep tabs on what their teen is drinking and promote drinking water.

Not enough sleep

Teens and young adults should be getting 9-10 hours of sleep but may not be getting enough sleep due to staying up late with friends, doing homework, surfing the internet, or watching T.V. A lack of sleep can be a contributing factor to higher rates of mental health disorders and unhealthy behaviors in young adults, along with having a harder time paying attention and raising impulsivity.

If you have a teen or young adult who is showing signs of these unhealthy behaviors (especially in males), it is vital to seek help early on to avoid further difficulties for your child’s independence later in their adult years.

Forte Strong in Southern Utah

Forte Strong is a program that can help. The coaches teach the men both hard and soft skills necessary to live their lives independently. The men learn how to cook, clean, and do basic maintenance. They will also learn how to care for themselves by planning and cooking healthy meals, following a hygiene routine, and learning about the importance of physical fitness. The men will learn how to budget their money, find and keep jobs, and set goals.

The men learn social skills (such as how to resolve conflict and effectively communicate) and emotional skills (such as how to manage their anger and stress and regulate their emotions).

The therapists and coaches work closely with the men to discover what skills will be most helpful for them to develop.

Failure to Thrive: Living with purpose at forte strong

If your adult son seems stuck in his childlike ways and is struggling to live life independently, he may need outside help to overcome his “failure to thrive.” Forte Strong, located in St. George, Utah, offers a safe space for men to learn how to live up to their full potential.

If your son is suffering from Failure to Launch or Peter Pan Syndrome, he can get help to develop the skills to become a responsible adult.

Why send your son to Forte Strong

Forte Strong is structured around one niche

Forte Strong is only for men who are failing to launch into adulthood and out of their childlike tendencies. Your son won’t be surrounded by people with other struggles like drugs, violence, theft, etc. The program will offer him help to overcome his failure to thrive while allowing him to create meaningful relationships with the young men around him that have the same struggle.

Your son can achieve independence in 6-9 months

Forte Strong will provide your son with the resources to develop the skills necessary to become self-reliant and independent in 6-9 months. Your son can achieve independence and maturity in a short time to launch into the “real world” quicker than he would be attempting to overcome his difficulties by himself.

Your son will develop, understand, and respect his strengths

Forte Strong will teach your son how to unlock his strengths and use them correctly. Your greatest strengths can also be your greatest weaknesses. Forte Strong uses the tool of fire as an example. Fire can help you hurt you, depending on how it is used. Fire can keep you warm outside or light your way in the dark, but it can also burn down bridges or homes. Our strengths are like the fire. We need to use them correctly for them to be beneficial. A child can create destruction if they haven’t learned how to utilize their strengths correctly. The program will help your son understand and use his strengths to succeed in life.

Promotes engaging and purposeful work

Forte Strong will help your son out of his failure-to-thrive state by inspiring him to dedicate himself to achieving his goals. Every man should love his work and work with a purpose, and that is what the program promotes to their men. Your son will grow from the inside out and learn what he stands for and believes in. Their website states: “Many of our young men come to Forte Strong believing they are not capable of getting a good job, being promoted, or even making more than minimum wage. In just a few weeks, we can help these young men break these self-limitations by helping them discover their purpose and understand the ‘why’ behind their actions.”

Forte Strong focuses on the journey and destination

The Forte Strong program is not a rehabilitation center; it’s a journey the men go through to advance from their failure to thrive. The program does not focus on just graduating because that often symbolizes an end rather than a stepping stone to their journey through building independence. The men who visit Forte Strong will be taught about their continual progress and growth.

What it means to live with a purpose at Forte Strong

Living life with a purpose means that you have a reason to wake up in the morning and that you are living life with a goal in mind. Your purpose in life is specific, directed, and precise. Everyone has unique characteristics that give them a unique purpose and function. Knowing your characteristics helps you to find your purpose.

To find your purpose, you need to experience and explore different things that teach you about yourself. For example, if you are someone who is caring and thinks about others before making decisions, then you might find something in the field of helping others, such as humanitarian work.

Your purpose doesn’t need to be work-related; it can involve a hobby. If you love to learn new things, you may find yourself learning languages, fixing things in the house that are broken, refinishing old items, etc.

Discovering your purpose comes down to figuring out what you love to do and giving yourself a reason to do things.

If you know someone or you have experienced a failure to thrive, it’s important that the individual talks to someone about what they’re going through. The most damage comes from ignoring the problem.

The solution may be as simple as working with your parents to overcome the challenges of entering adulthood. You may also want to seek outside help like Forte Strong.

What is Failure to Launch Syndrome?

There are many names given to failure to launch syndrome. You can call it Peter Pan syndrome, boomerang generation, or hikikomori, but it simply means young adults are not being able to make the transition to adulthood, and it is a growing phenomenon amongst them.

Seeking the explanations of the name that failure to launch syndrome is called now, in the US Peter Pan syndrome term came into existence after a young boy who never wanted to grow up. In Japan, hikikomori is a more extreme condition where young individuals are willing to live inside the four walls of their bedroom or go on an exile for years before they even hit their late twenties. There are many people in the society who would like to label these people as “loser,” “dropout,” or “man child,” but no matter what other people have to say to people going through failure to launch syndrome, it is more tangled than the simplistic labels might indicate.

The failure to launch syndrome cases are increasing at a breakneck pace, and according to a survey in the year 2014, many individuals aged between 25-54 were not interested in taking up a job, or they were neither working towards any goal and in the year 2015, the figure increased by 25%.

If you wonder what are the causes of understanding failure to launch syndrome in people. There are dozens of answers lingering around, including the lack of job availability, raising economy or education debt, but the defining feature of this particular syndrome states that it is simply delaying tasks, stalling, or flat-out refusal to run in the rat race of life. There are little to no intentions of earning a decent incoming or contributing financially to the family

What Are The Causes for Failure to Launch Syndrome

The desire to isolate oneself from the world and rely entirely on parents is the simple definition of Peter Pans, but there are many contributing factors for the individual situation, including family trauma, mental health or personal health issues, overparenting, and more. Let us at Forte Strong assess what are the flags that you can as a parent look out for in your child and know if they need help at the early stage.

Helicopter Parenting

A few parents like to hover around their children and provide them with everything that they require right at that point in time. Upon observation, we have noticed that helicopter parents constantly poke their nose in their child’s business and do things for them that their child has the capability to do. Everything parents do for their children is out of concern, but you should not forget that children are great observers. They notice everything. When you, as a parent, are providing them with everything that isn’t even crucial, they develop habits where they become irritable after not receiving what they seek from nature.
While many parents think that how can they be wronged for providing things to their children and making them happy? The point is that you need to understand what is essential for your child and what is not. Due to this reason, in general, many children are afraid to go on a venture alone and think that they can never be successful in life without their parents.

Substance Abuse

Many children are not lucky enough to have a positive family environment; hence, they cannot be blamed for their inability not to do things to lead a successful life. An unhealthy family system is one of the root causes of substance abuse and becoming a Peter Pan. When there is already a family member abusing drugs in the household, adults with failure to launch syndrome can become less noticeable, soaking them deeper into the condition.
As already mentioned, children are very observant, and it does not take time for them to adapt to habits that they regularly see. Young adults suffering from chemical addiction experience diminished cognitive ability and emotional stability. This provides them with a strong urge to stay at their parent’s place.
It is not only the failure of launch syndrome, but anyone suffering from addiction leads a very unmanageable life. There is increased anxiety with each passing day, including emotional turmoil.

Autism & Asperger’s

There is no doubt that even successful adults find the real-life juggling hard at times, but they still hustle their way out, but for many adults, the mere thought of struggling to make a livelihood is daunting. Young adults with autism spectrum, Asperger’s Syndrome (AS), or High Functioning Autism (HSA) often find it extremely hard to transition into hard-working adults.
Young adults on a spectrum are emotionally young according to their chronological age and have very little motivation to try new things in their life; hence they always want to switch back to things that make them comfortable. Apparently, it is behaving in a familiar situation to something, and it gives them power over choosing a frightening life transition.

Mental Illness

People suffering from mental health issues already find it extremely hard to adapt to new changes. Leaving their comfort zone is grippingly scary, even if they desire to lead an independent life. Young adults experiencing depression, anxiety, ADHD, or PTSD are likely to stick to their old schedule and may try to live a different life but show significantly less willingness.

It is hard to say the symptoms people exhibit when they are experiencing failure of launch syndrome because everyone displays a different set of behaviors. But upon observation, the above mentioned are a few of the frequently noticed reasons.

What Are The Common Symptoms of Failure To Launch Syndrome

Many people would like to tag individuals suffering from failure to launch syndrome as “lazy,” but in all honesty, they are struggling in their ways, more than you think they are. There are chances that young adults are able to explain the reason for their struggle, but their problems must be targeted as soon as possible to mitigate their symptoms right on time.

The symptoms can range in intensity and can include the following:
• No aim
• No direction of life
• Shallow motivation
• Narcissism
• Not able to take responsibility
• Having high expectations from people but not able to perform well on their expectations
• Not persistent
• Procrastination
• No stress management ability

How To Handle Failure to Launch Syndrome

A professional in mental health can assist people who are struggling to make the process of transitioning to adulthood and examine the root causes to create essential elements that help them in moving onto the next level. These elements consist of belief in oneself, self-confidence, determination, perseverance, goal setting, and balancing independently-based decision-making while drawing upon external resources.

Here are five forms of therapy to treat the syndrome of failure to launch syndrome:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Develops healthy thought patterns and addresses negative automatic thoughts about increasing responsibilities.
• Acceptance and commitment therapy, including mindfulness training: Can increase your capacity to be in the present moment vs. staying in the past or thinking in the future. It helps identify values and develop concrete steps to achieve the values you matter.
• Biofeedback and Neurofeedback: Helps you identify and alter your physical responses to stress and anxiety, positively impacting how you think and feel.
• Guidance for careers helps find and identify interests while increasing accountability and creating strategies to achieve your educational or work objectives.
• Therapy for families: Addresses the family as a whole and interactions patterns within the family, which will help strengthen relationships and lessen the degree of interdependence.

The primary element in the efficacy of therapy for individuals isn’t the kind of therapy. However, the connection between the counselor and the young adult looking for support. A good therapist listens, comprehends, and helps you become more aware of yourself and is there to assist you in overcoming obstacles and reaching your goals.

When to Seek Help for Failure to Launch

It is draining for the aging parents to take care of their child with failure to launch syndrome, and it puts the child under stress and their parents. Parents of young adults who are wondering about when is the right time to get help for their kids. There are various ways to help your child from failure to launch syndrome.

It is essential to remember that it’s not too late to get out of the rut regardless of how stuck you are. Getting to the root of your child’s problems with their clinical and breaking bad communication patterns and ensuring your child receives the proper treatment so that their brain can be regulated enough to be attentive and take action is how you can overcome the failure to launch syndrome. Forte Strong is a failure to launch syndrome expert, and with our 5 step approach, we aim to connect, discover, coach, challenge, and repeat so that the young adult can build confidence and adapt to new habits steadily.

We also offer opportunities to build self-esteem as well as form a bridge between the outside world and the inner world while building social opportunities to develop social skills and establish healthy relationships. Offering proper assistance in establishing time management and organizational routines to assist in the shift to living more autonomously, we help young adults manage the various aspects of life.

How To Cope With Social Anxiety

Social anxiety disorder can be treated in a variety of ways. Despite the fact that SAD therapy is available and effective, only roughly 35% of those who have the condition receive it.

While self-help is not a replacement for professional treatment, it is a useful place to start for those who may not otherwise receive assistance. To overcome your symptoms, follow the self-help solutions for social anxiety disorder listed below.

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Social Coping

Identifying the social skills that could use some work is a useful first step in managing social anxiety disorder. It may help you manage with the thoughts and emotions that occur with social anxiety disorder if you concentrate on strengthening those skills.

Assertiveness

Many individuals who suffer from social anxiety disorder lack assertiveness, and self-help exercises might help them become more assertive.

You can try being more assertive by communicating your requests in a calm and relaxed manner while respecting the needs of others. This frequently takes the form of “I” statements, so it feels less like pointing fingers. Learning to say no is an important part of being assertive, and most people with social anxiety lack this ability.

Nonverbal Communication

If you suffer from social anxiety, you can also use self-help tactics to improve your nonverbal communication abilities.

This method of developing body confidence will assist you in being more confident in social situations.

Verbal Communication

You can learn how to start conversations, keep them going, and listen carefully using self-help tactics in addition to adopting a relaxed body position.

One simple strategy for engaging a group of people in conversation, for example, is to listen first and then offer a comment about what they are already discussing.

Take advantage of as many opportunities as possible to strengthen your verbal communication abilities. Practice being a good listener, asking open-ended questions, and sharing personal tales to help others get to know you better.

It’s likely that your closest family and friends are aware of your social anxiety. If you have something specific to say to someone, send a message saying that you have something to say and arrange a time to talk in a private location.

Make a list of how you’ve been feeling if you’re frightened to articulate what’s going on. It’s best to explain your symptoms to the other person so they can understand what you’re going through.

Deep Breathing

If you have social anxiety, you are likely to have strong emotional reactions in social situations. The relaxed state of your body is one approach to lessen these anxious reactions. It’s simpler to enjoy being with others when your body is calm, your breathing is steady and natural, and your mind is devoid of negative thoughts.

 

In anxiety-provoking situations, you probably breathe too quickly, which exacerbates your other anxiety symptoms. Here are some suggestions for dealing with your worried and shallow breathing.

When you’re in a social environment, make sure you’re breathing the way you’ve been practicing. This breathing pattern may become increasingly habitual with time.

Reduce Negative Thinking

You are more likely to misinterpret other people’s comments or facial expressions if you have social anxiety, which contributes to your emotional reactions. There are two types of thoughts that can make you feel anxious and worried.

  • Mind Reading: You make the assumption that others are thinking negatively about you.

  • Personalizing: You make the assumption that other people’s actions are linked to your own.

You probably don’t even realize you’re having these thoughts because they’re so habitual. The steps below will help you better manage your negative thoughts.

Facing Your Fears

anxiety

While avoiding scary events may minimize your emotional reactions in the short term, it significantly limits your life in the long run. Furthermore, as your fear gets more comprehensive, the number of scenarios you fear increases. Progressive exposure to social situations paired with relaxation techniques, on the other hand, can assist to minimize the anxiety and emotional reactions that come with them.

It is possible to overcome avoidance. To begin, make a list of the top ten scenarios you avoid. Break down each issue on the list into a series of stages that get more challenging as you go. If you’re terrified of being the focus of attention, for example, you might take the following steps:

  • Tell a group of friends a story about yourself.

  • Tell a group of people you don’t know a funny story about yourself.

  • To a group of friends, express your actual feelings.

  • To a group of strangers, express your actual feelings.

Before moving on to the following level, practice each one as much as you need to. If you’re feeling anxious, confront your negative thoughts and relax by using the slow breathing technique.

Day-to-Day Struggles

Here are some suggestions for dealing with social anxiety on a daily basis, such as at work or at school.

  • Tell your employer so that you can receive accommodations or support in the workplace.

  • Arrive early to meetings so you may greet everyone individually when they arrive.

  • Make a list of questions to ask your teacher or boss, starting with the ones that will cause you the least amount of anxiety.

  • Keep current events in mind so you can participate in small talk.

  • To overcome inhibitions, stay away from alcohol.

  • Choose a profession that you enjoy so that even the most difficult portions of your employment in terms of social anxiety will feel worthwhile.

  • Greet individuals, complement them, and strike up short chats to make new friends.

Mistakes To Avoid

When it comes to using self-help tactics to reduce social anxiety, there are a few frequent blunders to avoid. By avoiding these blunders, you can avoid making matters worse.

  • Never attempt to manage your anxiousness. The more you regard it as an evil that must be eradicated, the more concentrated you will get on it, and the more difficult it will be to erase.

  • Don’t put too much emphasis on being perfect. Rather, concentrate on accepting the worst-case scenario and working backwards from there.

  • Accepting social anxiety as a personality attribute is a mistake. While you may be an introvert or shy by nature, social anxiety disorder is a mental health condition that does not define you. It is possible to have a happy and fulfilled life despite your worry.

  • While there is some evidence that cannabidiol, a component of marijuana, may be helpful in the treatment of social anxiety, it also has risks. When considering this as a coping strategy, make sure to thoroughly assess the risks and benefits.

In Conclusion:

You will find it easier to control your anxiety in difficult situations when you practice relaxation, challenge negative ideas, and confront fearful events over time. This should assist you in overcoming your social anxiety. If you are still experiencing significant anxiety on a daily basis, you should speak with your doctor or a mental health expert, since standard treatments such as medication or cognitive-behavioral therapy may be necessary.

Forte Strong aims to help men gain the confidence to fight through anxiety to achieve their goals and to propel themselves forward.