Facing the Holidays

Posted on January 9, 2023 by Matthew Arrington

If your adult son seems stuck in his childlike ways and is struggling to live life independently, he may need outside help to overcome his “failure to thrive.” For someone struggling with this can have a harder time being around family during the holidays.

You can face the holidays better by overcoming your Failure to Launch syndrome. Forte Strong, located in St. George, Utah, offers a safe space for men to learn how to live up to their full potential.

Forte Strong is a national life coaching, therapy, and independent living program dedicated to teaching men the necessary skills to be independent.

Your son may need help if he’s showing the following five signs in his day-to-day life.

Lacks the desire to live and succeed on their own

You may find yourself frustrated with your “lazy,” “unfocused, “unmotivated” adult child who seems completely comfortable not supporting himself. Men who struggle with growing up, also known as Failure to Launch Syndrome, experience a lack of motivation or a failure to launch themselves into adulthood and out of their parent’s house.

Has difficulty keeping a steady job

You may notice that your son doesn’t have the capability of keeping a job for a consistent amount of time, whether it be because he lacks the skills his employee is expecting from him or he constantly shows up late or misses days because he doesn’t have the motivation to go.

He may also bounce from job to job because he has a hard time discovering a path that he is interested in or simply doesn’t have the patience to stay in one field to find if he likes it or not.

Has poor communication and social skills

Adult males who struggle with independency and growing up may struggle with the communication and social skills it takes to navigate adulthood. You may notice these poor skills when they react to stress by withdrawing and becoming irritated. Your son will show signs of struggling with communicating in social situations appropriately or have a lack of interest in connecting with people around him. When someone struggles with social skills, understanding how relationships are formed often seems foreign to them, so they avoid socializing together.

Battles substance abuse (drugs or alcohol)

It is common for any individual to combat a problem or stressor with an unhealthy coping mechanism: drugs and alcohol. If they are already struggling with dependency and stability, it is likely they will turn to drugs and alcohol to manage their stress. They may find themselves stuck which leads them to disconnect with substances, leading to an addiction or abuse problem.

Struggles to manage finances on their own

If your son is struggling with entering adulthood, having financial dependency is common. Men who have this difficulty need to continue relying on their parents for financial support because they can’t keep a steady job. Even if they do have a job, they will often struggle to save money or know how to budget, so they easily spend it on useless things.

Other “signs my son needs help” include:

Commitment issues
Unreliable
Emotional instability
Lack of accountability and blaming others
The expectation for others to take care of them
Procrastination
Refuses to take constructive criticism
Refuses to leave their childhood home
Prioritizes fun activities over adult responsibilities
Befriending children instead of individuals their age

Your son may exhibit more signs than this or only exhibit some of them. Coaches and therapists in the Forte Strong program can help your son overcome these challenges and others like social anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, depression impulsivity, defiance, ADHD, low self-esteem, video game addiction, and other dependency issues that hold them back.

You can fill out an eligibility questionnaire on its website to determine if your son would be a good fit for its program. This program may also help solidify the signs my son needs help.

Why send your son to Forte Strong

Forte Strong is structured around one niche

Forte Strong is only for men who are failing to launch into adulthood and out of their childlike tendencies. Your son won’t be surrounded by people with other struggles like drugs, violence, theft, etc. The program will offer him help to overcome his failure to thrive while allowing him to create meaningful relationships with the young men around him that have the same struggle.

Your son can achieve independence in 6-9 months

Forte Strong will provide your son with the resources to develop the skills necessary to become self-reliant and independent in 6-9 months. Your son can achieve independence and maturity in a short time to launch into the “real world” quicker than he would be attempting to overcome his difficulties by himself.

Your son will develop, understand and respect his strengths

Forte Strong will teach your son how to unlock his strengths and use them correctly. Your greatest strengths can also be your greatest weaknesses. Forte Strong uses the tool of fire as an example. Fire can help you or hurt you, depending on how it is used. Fire can keep you warm outside or light your way in the dark, but it can also burn down bridges or homes. Our strengths are like fire. We need to use them correctly for them to be beneficial. A child can create destruction if they haven’t learned how to utilize their strengths correctly. The program will help your son understand and use his strengths to succeed in life.

Promotes engaging and purposeful work

Forte Strong will help your son out of his “failure to thrive” state by inspiring him to dedicate himself to achieving his goals. Every man should love his work and work with a purpose, and that is what the program promotes to their men. Your son will grow from the inside out and learn what he stands for and believes in. Their website states: “Many of our young men come to Forte Strong believing they are not capable of getting a good job, being promoted, or even making more than minimum wage. In just a few weeks, we are able to help these young men break these self-limitations by helping them discover their purpose and understand the ‘why’ behind their actions.”

Forte Strong focuses on the journey and destination

The Forte Strong program is not a rehabilitation center; it’s a journey the men go through to advance from their failure to thrive. The program does not focus on just graduating because that often symbolizes an end rather than a steppingstone to their journey through building independence. The men who visit Forte Strong will be taught about their continual progress and growth.

Living with a purpose

Living life with a purpose means that you have a reason to wake up in the morning and that you are living life with a goal in mind. Your purpose in life is specific, directed, and precise. Everyone has unique characteristics that give them a unique purpose and function. Knowing your characteristics help you to find your purpose.

To find your purpose, you need to experience and explore different things that teach you about yourself. For example, if you are someone who is caring and thinks about others before making decisions, then you might find something in the field of helping others, such as humanitarian work.

Your purpose doesn’t need to be work-related; it can involve a hobby. If you love to learn new things, you may find yourself learning languages, fixing things in the house that are broken, refinishing old items, etc.

Discovering your purpose comes down to figuring out what you love to do and giving yourself a reason to do things.

If you know someone or you yourself have experienced a failure to thrive, it’s important that the individual talks to someone about what they’re going through. The most damage comes from ignoring the problem.

The solution may be as simple as working with your parents to overcome the challenges of entering adulthood. You may also want to seek outside help like Forte Strong.

How to help without enabling

If you’ve seen signs of “failure to thrive” in your son and feel as though you’ve enabled the behavior, there are ways you can help turn things around.

First, it is vital for you to discontinue enabling your child who has these struggles. You need to draw the line between letting him learn how to stand on his own and bailing him out. You need to set boundaries with your child by letting them know you are there to listen and offer advice, but it will be better for them if they learn how to figure it out on their own.

If you continue to rescue your child from their situations, it is sending them a message saying, “you’re not competent to make it on your own,” so they don’t try to fix things on their own because they feel like they can’t.

To go along with the previous example, if your son has moved back in, you should encourage them to be independent by giving them stipulations for living there such as pitching in on rent, buying their own food, doing their own laundry, and helping with household chores. This allows them to see that you are being supportive by allowing them to come back home, but not letting them cross the boundary of you taking care of them.

The following are examples to help motivate your child toward healthy independence and avoid failure to thrive:

Encourage your child to contribute to rent if they have a job
Don’t constantly give spending money without seeing an effort on their part toward independence
Agree on a time limit of how long the child is expected to move out
If you can afford it, offer to help with starting costs of renting an apartment
Limit how much you solve your child’s crisis. Instead, encourage them to find a solution by asking what their ideas are
Attend support groups if your child has a substance abuse problem
Don’t be too quick to offer help that enables your child. If they ask for money, tell them you need to talk it over with your spouse or even ask them how they can help him without paying the full expense of what he is asking for help with.

Video Game Addiction: Signs to Look Out For

Posted on January 9, 2023 by Matthew Arrington

In this day in age, technology is a everyone’s fingertips and can lead to addictions, specifically a video game addiction. It is possible to play video games as a hobby, but when it starts to consume your entire life where you don’t focus on anything else, it becomes detrimental.

According to Forte Strong’s website, individuals on this planet spend 3 billion hours per week playing video games. Seventy-two percent of citizens from the age of 6 to 44 years old in the United States play over 18 hours per week, which also calculates to be 3.6 hours per day.

If your son is struggling with a video game addiction, he can get help at Forte Strong to overcome this addiction and develop the skills to become a responsible adult. Forte Strong is a nation life coaching, therapy, and independent living program dedicated to teaching men the necessary skills to being independent.

It is common for young men experiencing Failure to Launch Syndrome to also have a video game addiction. While they isolate from face-to-face social interactions, they can still have a social experience online by interacting with others online. These young men get their social fix by being challenged in video games to beat level challenges. On top of the challenge, they oftentimes will meet and chat with the other players online as they game.

What is video game addiction?

If you have a severely reduced control over your gaming habits that results in negative impacts on your life, you could be suffering from video game addiction. This addiction can lead to interruptions to your personal, social, educational and occupational responsibilities.

People who have gambling addictions often show the same signs and withdrawals as those who experience video game addictions. They both come with the satisfaction of winning at something, even though video games isn’t something you normally win money from.

Why is it detrimental?

It is normal for people to play video games in their downtime and not become addicted; however, it becomes detrimental when it is all-consuming and negatively impacting your daily functions. A video game addiction can cause significant mental, social, and physical health issues.

Gaming behavior that is concerning to mental health experts is when someone has a recurring habit that comes at the expense of their functioning outside of games.

It’s vital that you seek help if you start to notice your video game habits becoming addictive and damaging your close relationships.

Signs of video game addiction

Dependency on video games can become as serious problem if it’s left untreated. The following are signs and symptoms to watch out for in a video game addiction:

Poor performance at school, work or household responsibilities as a result of excessive video game playing
Personal hygiene or grooming decrease due to excessive video gaming
Lying to family members or friends about the amount of time you spend playing video games
Unable to reduce your playing time and having unsuccessful attempts to quite gaming despite the negative consequences
Experiencing withdrawal symptoms such as sadness, anxiety, or irritability when games are taken away or gaming is not possible
A need to spend more time playing video games to get the same level of enjoyment
Using video games to relieve negative moods such as guild or hopelessness
Using video games as a way to escape stressful situations or to avoid conflicts
Giving up other previously enjoyed activities or social relationships due to gaming too much

If you have concerns about you or someone you know struggling with a video game addiction based on these signs and symptoms, reach out to a mental health professional for help.

What causes video game addiction?

While researchers have not yet determined the exact cause of video game addiction, they think the process of playing and winning video games may trigger a release of dopamine. Dopamine is a brain chemical that affects several bodily functions including pleasurable reward and motivation. Recent neurological research shows similarities in the brains of people with video game addiction and substance use disorders.

Numerous factors contribute to video game addiction such as having traits like impulsiveness, higher acceptance of violence, and lower social skills. The level of motivation makes an impact on whether someone will become addicted to video games or not. For example, people who game for fun or to be social seem less likely to become hooked than those who game for status or to escape from their problems. Males are also more prone to gaining a video game addiction.

How to get help

The main treatment for a video game addiction talk therapy, also known as psychotherapy. It’s a term for a variety of treatment techniques that aim to help you identify and change negative emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Talking with a mental health professional can provide support and guidance to you for whatever reason you’re seeking it.

Specific types of psychotherapy that would benefit someone with a video game addiction include:

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): A structured, goal-oriented type of therapy. A therapist will help you take a close look at your thoughts and emotions. Your sessions with a therapist will help you understand how your thoughts affect your actions. Through CBT to treat video game addiction, you can unlearn negative and obsessive thoughts and behaviors and learn to adopt healthier thinking patterns and habits.
Group therapy: A group of people meets to describe and discuss their problems individually while being supervised by a therapist. Group therapy can provide a sense of motivation and moral support for people who struggle with a video game addiction, especially if they don’t have the support of any friends or family members.
Family or marriage counseling: If someone in a relationship suffers from a video game addiction, counseling can help educate loved ones about the disorder and create a more stable home environment.

Forte Strong has a treatment program for those wanting help with their video game addiction. Their students are able to put themselves in a different environment, see a different view of themselves, and learn the importance of being independent. The Forte Strong coaches teach young men how to utilize the technology in their lives to their benefit instead of letting it overtake their lives. The men learn how to overcome unhealthy habits, replace them with positive habits, and maintain a healthy balance in their lives.

Why send your son to Forte Strong

Forte Strong is structured around one niche

Your son can achieve independence in 6-9 months

Your son will develop, understand, and respect his strengths

Forte Strong will teach your son how to unlock his strengths and use them correctly. Your greatest strengths can also be your greatest weaknesses. Forte Strong uses the tool of fire as an example. Fire can help you hurt you, depending on how it is used. Fire can keep you warm outside or light your way in the dark, but it can also burn down bridges or homes. Our strengths are like the fire. We need to use them correctly for them to be beneficial. A child can create destruction if they haven’t learned how to utilize their strengths correctly. The program will help your son understand and use his strengths to succeed in life.

Promotes engaging and purposeful work

Forte Strong will help your son out of his failure to thrive state by inspiring him to dedicate himself to achieving his goals. Every man should love his work and work with a purpose, and that is what the program promotes to their men. Your son will grow from the inside out and learn what he stands for and believes in. Their website states: “Many of our young men come to Forte Strong believing they are not capable of getting a good job, being promoted, or even making more than minimum wage. In just a few weeks, we are able to help these young men break these self-limitations by helping them discover their purpose and understand the ‘why’ behind their actions.”

Forte Strong focuses on the journey and destination

The Forte Strong program is not a rehabilitation center; it’s a journey the men go through to advance from their failure to thrive. The program does not focus on just graduating because that often symbolizes an end rather than a stepping-stone to their journey through building independence. The men who visit Forte Strong will be taught about their continual progress and growth.

How to Help My Son Become More Independent

Posted on September 21, 2022 by Matthew Arrington

Young adults may have a difficult time transitioning from their youth into their adult lives. Everyone should learn how to be more independent by decreasing codependency in relationships, including romantic and family relationships.

Independent vs. codependent

You may be wondering what the difference is between independency and codependency in relationships.

Dependency is being able to rely on yourself for your basic needs like buying your own groceries and toiletries, cleaning and doing your own dishes and laundry, and paying your own rent.

It’s not a bad thing to want other people around you, and it’s normal for humans to want other people in their lives to fulfill their desire for companionship. It’s nice to have someone to talk to and engage in activities with people who have the same interests. This is where friendships and romantic relationships come into play. It is also normal for us to have close relationships with our families.

These relationships become unhealthy when we rely on someone else to fulfill all of our needs. Whether it be still living with your parents well into adulthood where your mother is still folding your laundry and buying you groceries or if you have moved out and live with a significant other and these responsibilities have transferred to them.

Codependency in relationships can become unhealthy and toxic for all parties involved if it is not addressed.

How to become more independent

Set boundaries

One aspect of codependency in relationships is a lack of boundaries. Setting boundaries allows you to speak up for yourself about how others should treat you. It takes consistency to build and maintain boundaries in your relationships, but as you identify the limits, you can become more independent yourself and help others around you with their independence as well.

Practice communication skills

To establish healthy boundaries in your relationships, you need to know how to communicate with those around you. Whether you have a significant other or you need to communicate your needs in a friendship or with family members, all types of relationships require the need for boundaries.

Having effective communication skills will help with your independence as if offers you the ability to speak for yourself which you will need in adulthood to make your own doctors’ appointments and is a crucial quality to have to obtain a job.

Practicing assertive communication will show that you are aware of your needs, can communicate those needs clearly, and can set and enforce clear boundaries.

Engage in activities you love

It is common for someone struggling with dependency to lack a sense of self. If you are aware that you need to be more independent, find hobbies to engage in on your own. Finding joyful activities will help you know yourself better.

Examples of hobbies you can do by yourself are:

Cooking
Baking
Pilates
Taking a relaxing bath
Reading
Writing in a journal
Painting or drawing
Walking in nature

If you are struggling with codependency in relationships, consider finding activities to participate in by yourself to 1) bring you more joy and 2) bring a sense of fulfillment.

Spend time alone

A vital aspect of independency is having the ability to be alone. This doesn’t mean to not try and make friends, but you should prioritize alone time and not always be in the presence of friends, family and coworkers. Spending time with your own thoughts or by doing things you love can bring you peace and confidence. It allows you to connect with yourself and strengthen your ability to regulate your emotions.

A 2020 study found that intentional solitude can positively impact emerging adults’ well-being and mental health. The author of the study suggests to spend time away from peers and other people to allow yourself to regroup away from life’s stressors. She also says that the absence of societal pressure provides for a great reflection of your thoughts, feeling and values.

Learn what you can control

If you have codependency tendencies, it can be difficult to watch someone you love make decisions that you don’t agree with. Remember that you can’t control other people’s behaviors, thoughts or feelings, just your own.

Let go of the feeling that you need to be responsible for others.

On the flipside, you may be struggling with dependency yourself and want to rely on other people to make all of your decisions for you. It’s not healthy for other people to make decisions for you because in the end, it’s going to affect you the most. You can practice this by making simple decisions on your own and getting advice on bigger decisions if you need, but keep in mind that it is up to you at the end of the day.

Be assertive

Being independent means taking charge of your life and making your own decisions. If you want something, don’t be afraid to go after it instead of waiting for someone else to help you. Adulthood is full of situations where you have to make decisions – some more difficult than others, so it’s important that you know how to make decisions for yourself.

Benefits of dependency

Encourages growth

Codependency in relationships encourage individuals to grow emotionally, socially, spiritually, and professionally. When someone gets comfortable relying on someone else for basic needs, they have a harder time becoming independent as they grow up.

Boosts confidence

Independence gives people a sense of confidence to handle what life throws their way. This is because they feel more prepared to act without waiting for permission from someone. Being more independent can lead to trying new things which can lead to more confidence and knowledge that you can do things on your own.

Freedom

With independence comes more freedom. When you become an adult, move out on your own and maybe even attend college, you will have more responsibilities, but you are also free to make your own choices. You can go places you want to, buy what you want, eat what you want, and much more without having to ask anyone for permission.

Having financial independence also brings on more freedom regarding money. When you are not relying on your parents to buy everything for you, you have total control over what you spend your money on because you are earning it yourself.

Promotes happiness/reduces stress

When you are emotionally independent, you can make your personal decisions and go experience challenges without someone by your side 24/7. It is important to have people who support you and that you can lean on, but it’s not healthy to be completely reliant on someone when you are going through difficult times. Being emotionally independent means, you can decrease your suffering and disappointment because you aren’t relying on someone else to meet your emotional needs.

Improves decision-making skills

You will be much more comfortable making decisions if you are confident in your independence because you have proven to yourself that you can make smart decisions for yourself. When you aren’t dependent on someone emotionally and financially, you are in a better position to make decisions because it is only affecting you and not someone else as well.

Overcoming the Fear of Choices at Forte Strong

Posted on August 17, 2022 by Matthew Arrington

You may have a young adult child who is struggling to live independently and need outside help from programs for struggling young adults to overcome his or her failure to thrive.

Typically males, rather than females, suffer from Failure to Launch or Peter Pan Syndrome, so if your son is showing signs of this syndrome, you can get him help at Forte Strong. It is one of several programs for struggling young adults located in St. George, Utah, that offers a safe space for men to learn how to live up to their full potential by developing skills to become responsible adults.

Signs to watch out for that your young adult child may need help are:

• Lacks the desire to succeed on his own
• Has difficulty keeping a steady job
• Has poor communication and social skills
• Battles substance abuse
• Struggles to manage finances on his own
• Commitment issues
• Unreliable
• Emotional instability
• Lack of accountability and blaming others
• The expectation for others to take care of them
• Procrastination
• Refuses to take constructive criticism
• Refuses to leave their childhood home
• Prioritizes fun activities over adult responsibilities
• Befriending children instead of individuals their age

If you notice your son exhibiting a fair number of these signs, it may be time to consider programs for struggling young adults.

Overcoming fear at Forte Strong

One of the causes of young adult men experiencing a form of Peter Pan Syndrome is anxiety. Individuals who struggle with anxiety can have a more difficult time transitioning to adulthood. They may feel like they are left to fend for themselves to tackle life decisions, support themselves and others, and commit to employment. It can be more difficult for a person who struggles with anxiety to venture into adulthood on their own, especially if the individual starts exhibiting these feelings near the end of adolescence.

This is where Forte Strong can be a helping hand for your son.

Forte Strong will also teach your son how to unlock his strengths and use them correctly. Your greatest strengths can also be your greatest weaknesses. Your strengths can be beneficial if you use them correctly; a child can create destruction if they haven’t learned how to utilize their strengths. The program will help your son understand and use his strengths to succeed in life.

Forte Strong is one of many choices in programs for struggling young adults to help them overcome the fear and anxiety about the choices ahead of them in the transition to adulthood.

Causes of Peter Pan Syndrome

Permissive parenting

Parents who allow their children to do whatever they choose to with minimal consequences are known as a permissive parenting style. It involves a lack of boundaries, expectations and rules. It leads to children yielding an entitled and unrealistic mentality when entering adulthood.

Overprotective parenting

On the other end of the spectrum is being too overprotective of your children. “Helicopter parenting,” as it is more popularly known, implies to children that the outside world is dangerous and they shouldn’t venture it alone. Children who grow up in a household like this may become overly attached and insecure; they may not develop the mentality or skills they need for a successful transition into adulthood.

Individuals who feel lonely by being forced into adulthood can lead them to regress into an earlier stage of life (childhood) in an effort to feel supported and loved again. It can be similar to feelings of anxiety that makes the individual want to avoid adult responsibilities and remain in their childlike ways for longer.

Enabling behavior

Peter Pan Syndrome only continues if another person, most likely loved ones, enable the behavior of the individual. By allowing their irresponsible and childish behavior to continue, the individual gets stuck in their ways.

Mental health diagnosis

The legal age for becoming an adult and leaving on your own is 18 years old. If someone is not independent by then and ready to move out of their childhood home, it creates a feeling of shame. If this is gone untreated, the feeling can result in a mental health condition, possibly leading to Peter Pan Syndrome or other issues like substance abuse and addiction.

Lack of direction

Not everyone knows what they want to do when they turn 18 and are expected to leave the house and gain an education. People who feel unclear about the direction they should take may find themselves stuck in a childlike state.

If you are searching for programs for struggling young adults, Forte Strong is an adequate choice in getting your son the help he needs to overcome his difficulties in transitioning to adulthood. Forte Strong will help your son out of his failure-to-thrive state by inspiring him to dedicate himself to achieving his goals. Every man should love his work and work with a purpose, and that is what the program promotes to their men. Your son will grow from the inside out and learn what he stands for and believes in.

Failure to Thrive: Living with purpose at forte strong

Posted on June 13, 2022 by Matthew Arrington

If your adult son seems stuck in his childlike ways and is struggling to live life independently, he may need outside help to overcome his “failure to thrive.” Forte Strong, located in St. George, Utah, offers a safe space for men to learn how to live up to their full potential.

If your son is suffering from Failure to Launch or Peter Pan Syndrome, he can get help to develop the skills to become a responsible adult.

Why send your son to Forte Strong

Forte Strong is structured around one niche

Your son can achieve independence in 6-9 months

Your son will develop, understand, and respect his strengths

Forte Strong will teach your son how to unlock his strengths and use them correctly. Your greatest strengths can also be your greatest weaknesses. Forte Strong uses the tool of fire as an example. Fire can help you hurt you, depending on how it is used. Fire can keep you warm outside or light your way in the dark, but it can also burn down bridges or homes. Our strengths are like the fire. We need to use them correctly for them to be beneficial. A child can create destruction if they haven’t learned how to utilize their strengths correctly. The program will help your son understand and use his strengths to succeed in life.

Promotes engaging and purposeful work

Forte Strong will help your son out of his failure-to-thrive state by inspiring him to dedicate himself to achieving his goals. Every man should love his work and work with a purpose, and that is what the program promotes to their men. Your son will grow from the inside out and learn what he stands for and believes in. Their website states: “Many of our young men come to Forte Strong believing they are not capable of getting a good job, being promoted, or even making more than minimum wage. In just a few weeks, we can help these young men break these self-limitations by helping them discover their purpose and understand the ‘why’ behind their actions.”

Forte Strong focuses on the journey and destination

The Forte Strong program is not a rehabilitation center; it’s a journey the men go through to advance from their failure to thrive. The program does not focus on just graduating because that often symbolizes an end rather than a stepping stone to their journey through building independence. The men who visit Forte Strong will be taught about their continual progress and growth.

What it means to live with a purpose at Forte Strong

Discovering your purpose comes down to figuring out what you love to do and giving yourself a reason to do things.

If you know someone or you have experienced a failure to thrive, it’s important that the individual talks to someone about what they’re going through. The most damage comes from ignoring the problem.

The solution may be as simple as working with your parents to overcome the challenges of entering adulthood. You may also want to seek outside help like Forte Strong.