Achieve Independence: How do I get started?

Posted on June 19, 2012July 29, 2026 by Matthew Arrington

Many of the young men we coach have a strong desire to achieve independence but don’t know where to start. They’re unsatisfied with life and they understand that where they are at now is not where they want to be. They might have an objective in mind but they don’t know where to start. This can stem from insecurity of not wanting to make a mistake, uncertainty over where to start or even stagnation because of the amount of work involved in meeting that objective or goal. No matter what the reason, a strong support network is crucial to helping these young men spring back and get back into the game of life.

Support is crucial to long-term change

How helpful is it to have the proper support when one is reaching a goal or objective? Unconditional support is absolutely necessary to a struggling young adult’s success, and that is exactly what we at Forte Strong provide. Support when a day is hard, when things get confusing, when there is doubt and unsurity. Support and confidence that one has the capability to make things happen for themselves, support and guidance on how to go about doing something that one has never attempted or accomplished before. Having support (much like a guarantee or warranty when purchasing something) is comforting and is crucial in the learning process.

Make some mistakes and gain valuable experience

Mistakes actually need to be made so that objectives can be rethought, refined and refocused. Without mistakes there is no growth. How did you learn to walk or ride a bicycle or pretty much do anything in life? Exactly… through mistakes. Making mistakes is a part of life, and making a mistake by no means equals failure which we talk about in more detail in our post titled, Lets make some mistakes! Parents, if you look at mistakes as something that should be avoided or frowned upon then your son is going to do just that avoid them.

Take the first step and the rest will follow

The main thing that we coach our students on at Forte Strong is to simply take the first step. We call it the mountain principle, which you may have heard before. To answer the question, “How do you climb a mountain?” The answer is simple. One step at a time. 99% of the time the hardest part of the journey is taking that first step. Its very rewarding to see our students who are hesitant, take that first step and then realize, much to their surprise, how easy it was! It makes the rest of the journey not seem so daunting and insurmountable. The first step often turns into a few more steps which then turns into momentum, the ultimate goal! Momentum is where change, growth and progress happen at a more accelerated and long-term pace which is exactly where you want your son to be. Although this ideology might seem a bit basic, it is solid advice. The most important thing is that you’re moving forward.

Quick Summary

So the next time you look at that ever-so-scary mountain lying ahead of you, replace fear with confidence. Take one step, look back at your support team, and take that next step! With the right guidance, in the right environment, with the right support your son can achieve independence and so much more. It always starts with that first step.

-The Forte Strong Family

About The Author

Brook Price dedicated himself to helping others early in his life. He grew up in Sunny Orange County California, then joined the Marine Corps at the age of 21 serving five and half years as a helicopter crew chief and then as chief accountant. His journey with this type of work began when he volunteered as a Young Marines Instructor during his time in the Marines, helping kids get off the street, improve their lives and develop as a leader. After his tour Brook left the Marines to pursue a career in experiential therapy by attending Southern Utah University where he majored in outdoor recreation with a minor in psychology.

Brook has seventeen years experience working for a variety of different therapeutic and transitional programs across the nation. His thirst for knowledge drove him to learn and study successful therapeutic models and programs across the country, most notably Outward Bound. Brook has experience working with therapeutic, residential, military, wilderness and transitional programs for adults and adolescents.

Find some motivation!!!

Posted on March 29, 2012 by Matthew Arrington

Parents, especially successful parents are baffled as to why their child can’t seem to find the motivation to get a job or even get out of bed, while other parents believe their child has been dealt a bad hand because of the economy or their ex-husband or their child’s depression, anxiety or lack friends. I’d be a hypocrite if I said I didn’t believe that same lie at times. Maybe it’s time to think differently. What happens when we turn that kind of negative thinking on it’s head? When we begin to think differently about our situation? Are you ready to change your mindset?

Watch the video below and then ask yourself whether you believe your life is controlled by fate or by choice… I dare you.

Get Motivated… not tomorrow, but right now!

Pep talk warning! (Yes..we do that from time to time) Yes, I’m sure that video is hard to swallow, especially if you once thought like me, believing the world was against you and there was no way out. It’s been said that we create our own reality; if that’s true, whose to blame? We always hear about how important it is to be motivated, and the crucial role that motivation plays in our ability to be confident, accomplish goals and succeed. In fact, most of the individuals we talk to that have sons experiencing failure to launch stress how truly unmotivated their sons are. So what do we do when we are not feeling motivated? How can we get back on track? Be more optimistic? Forte Strong has a list of 10 easy things he can do to unlock his potential and get back into the game of life. These tips may help if you find yourself in a bit of a rut. The weird thing is that some of these tips may be so basic that we sometimes forget how important they really are in creating change.

So first, we need to make sure we’re doing the simple things. Take sleep for example. How are you going to feel if you do not get adequate rest? Miserable of course. Studies prove that not getting enough rest can make you feel depressed, lethargic, unproductive, weak and even make you more prone to developing illnesses! So make sure you’re taking care of the basic and simple things so you can find the motivation and accomplish your goals!

The biggest piece of motivational advice I give to parents is this, the most important thing you can do to better your life is to simply “show up”. You’ve heard the term “fake it ’till you make it”? For the most part it’s true. We’ve found in our coaching that it does actually works. Even if we don’t feel like going to school, work, the gym etc…, if we can just “show up”, chances are we will begin to slowly gather the motivation we need to become productive, especially when it becomes habitual. The smartest most successful people in the world have a routine they follow each day, just like your son or daughter has their routine they follow every day. I bet if you compared those routines side by side you would see a big difference. My guess is that your son or daughter doesn’t always show up, whether that’s for work, school or at home. Showing up is literally 50% of the equation because if we are there, then we are more likely to make things happen. So remember, attendance counts (even if at first nothing gets accomplished).

The last recommendation is to plan. There are too many slogans out there to list that deal with the importance of planning. Ie.. fail to plan and you plan to fail, proper planning prevents poor performance, and the list goes on. The core motive behind planning is that if a task is important enough to plan, it is important enough to accomplish. And if we are accomplishing tasks on a regular basis, our follow-through improves.

So, to recap:

1. Do the simple things.

2. “Show up”

3. Plan

These three easy things are not a cure-all, but they will get you started and your chances of success increases dramatically! Check back soon for more great info on how you can help your son build the motivation he needs to unlock his potential, move out of the house and achieve independence!

About The Author

Help Yourself by Helping Others

Posted on March 23, 2012 by Matthew Arrington

A large part of the Forte Strong program involves helping others. Volunteering, community involvement, service, providing aid, etc… There are many different terms for serving those in our community. To understand why this is such an important aspect of our lives, or why it should be important, lets look at a local service capacity that you might be familiar with; your local fire station. If you live in a smaller or rural town, chances are your fire response team is comprised of a group of local volunteers. Although they might receive training from the state or federal govt. free of charge, it’s to assist their local community through hours of training and take time away from their own busy schedules. You might not think this is a big deal…until your house catches on fire. Think of how grateful you would be if a group of volunteer firefighters showed up at 3:00am in the morning to save you, your family and your possessions from harm!

The great thing about serving others is that we never now how our support may impact their lives. It might be a small act of kindness on our part, but could mean the world to the person on the receiving end. Take a local soup kitchen for example. They contribute their time to feed and comfort people that would otherwise go hungry.

Mental Health America (formerly the National Mental Health Association) writes an article that supports this concept:

“Research indicates that those who consistently help other people experience less depression, greater calm, fewer pains and better health. They may even live longer.

Consider some recent research:

Students who performed five acts of kindness a day increased their happiness
Providing emotional support to others significantly decreased the harmful health effects of certain kinds of stress among older people
People who donated money to charity got a boost in a feel-good part of the brain, as revealed in brain imaging research

Doing Good Can Make You Feel Good. It might:

remind you that you’re relatively lucky
help you feel needed and effective
make you feel connected to others
take your mind off your own worries for a while
make you feel generous
add a sense of purpose and meaning to your life”

There are many ways you can volunteer, some of which take only a small investment of time. Another important reason the Forte Strong family gives back to our community is that it provides more opportunities for our students. Those dealing with failure to launch will find it much easier to talk to someone whom they’ve met, who has seen them work, and already has an idea of their potential. These networks can and do lead to jobs, internships, leadership positions and many other opportunities which will help them succeed. At Forte Strong we all do our part to help make OUR world a better place! 🙂

-The Forte Strong Family

About the Author

Matthew Arrington grew up in Southern California and has a deep fondness for the ocean and water in general. He’s lived in most of the western united states and attended school in Oregon, where he earned a few degrees in business including, marketing, leadership and organizational management and a Masters in Business. Matt has a huge passion for working with young men to increase their chances of success and credits his current success to the many positive male role models that helped him grow into manhood.