Last week, we gave parents a better understanding of why Failure To Launch occurs from a son’s perspective. Now, lets take a look at why it’s so difficult and sometimes debilitating from a parent’s perspective.
1. Fear: Lets be honest… whether you believe it or not, your parents are concerned for your well being. They are scared for you. You might ask yourself, “Why?” Well, its simple. They’re afraid you’ll fail, get disappointed, be let down, remain stuck and become unhappy. Now parents, although these may be valid concerns what you have to realize is that these are NECESSARY STEPS that each of us NEED to experience to progress and grow in life. Your young sons need to fail. That is how they learn and progress and grow. Sure, they may be able to learn from some of your failures, but they also need to experience them on their own too.
2. Lack of progression/experience: Ok guys…. If you are at home and not progressing in life you are just idling. And remember, an idling car doesn’t take you anywhere, it only pollutes the environment! So don’t idle at home and “smog” up your relationships. Get going! Travel, see and do things! The country is beautiful, but you can only experience it if you take the road trip! Even if you don’t know where you’re going, at least you’re moving. You know how many young adults start college without knowing exactly what they’re going to do in life? About 90%. It’s ok… you’re not the minority!
3. Bad parents: If you are not progressing in life your parents can feel downtrodden. You may have heard them explain to you growing up that what you do reflects upon the family. Well, to a certain degree they’re right. And by NOT progressing they may feel like they haven’t given you the necessary tools to succeed in life. This can be difficult to live with as a parent day in and day out. They think, “What could I have done different? What did I miss?” What you’ll soon realize is that NOBODY is perfect. Not even your parents! We will all continue to learn in life until our dying breath and you can only blame your parents for so long. Even if you didn’t grow up with the “perfect” parents, so what? None of us did! The great thing is, your an adult now and you can make your life how you want it!
4. The Generation Gap: Ok, guys and parents, this one is for both of you. Generation gaps continue to put a wedge between the ideals of parents and their sons. Parents, you might expect your son to act as you did when “he was your age”. You have to remember that the norms of our society are constantly changing and shifting, so what was expected of you when you were Johnny’s age, isn’t necessarily the norm today. And that is what Johnny is living with in today’s world. Is Johnny’s generation more of an entitled generation? That may be true for some… but realize that though times have changed, their not any easier, though it might feel that way. For example, what is considered as “appropriate” now on nighttime television would probably have received an “R” rating in theaters 25-30 years ago. These are the difficult choices this generation must make. And for some of you guys, you need to step outside of your “gimmie” generation. NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING. The sooner you realize this, the quicker you’ll be able to move on. Remember, you need to stake your claim with life. You are the only one who CAN take you in the direction you want to go. So get moving!
Now that we’ve touched on a few of the reasons as to why Failure To Launch is so difficult for parents, perhaps it will give you guys some insight as to why your parents are so concerned for you. Parents, its important to look at things from your son’s point of view too. By switching places, relationships can become more cohesive and compromises can be reached. As the famous proverb states, “To understand a man, you must walk a mile in his shoes, whether they fit or not.” Thanks for reading, and if you would like to share your thoughts, feel free to leave some comments below.
-The Forte Strong Family
About The Author
Brook Price dedicated himself to helping others early in his life. He grew up in Sunny Orange County California, then joined the Marine Corps at the age of 21 serving five and half years as a helicopter crew chief and then as chief accountant. His journey with this type of work began when he volunteered as a Young Marines Instructor during his time in the Marines, helping kids get off the street, improve their lives and develop as a leader. After his tour Brook left the Marines to pursue a career in experiential therapy by attending Southern Utah University where he majored in outdoor recreation with a minor in psychology.
Brook has seventeen years experience working for a variety of different therapeutic and transitional programs across the nation. His thirst for knowledge drove him to learn and study successful therapeutic models and programs across the country, most notably Outward Bound. Brook has experience working with therapeutic, residential, military, wilderness and transitional programs for adults and adolescents.