One of the biggest things we see when dealing with the failure to launch epidemic is a correlation with low self esteem.  This is not always the case though.  Sometimes we see confident, bright young men just taking advantage of a good situation free of rent, utility, & food payments.  But lets say you fall into the first category, low self esteem.  It is not unusual to see good but shy young man afraid to leave the nest as result of being a tad unsure of themselves.  This is a normal situation that most have felt at some point or another during their transition into adulthood.

On top of all of that, society bombards these young men with the lives of the so-called “successful”;  movie stars, music artists, pro athletes and other elite lifestyles that they are expected to become if society is to deem them as successful.  The media tends to saturate us with ideas that inform us in a not-so-subtle manner that if we don’t meet certain criteria we are falling behind.  This can contribute to feelings of inadequacy in young men.  Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, author of the book The Enchanted Self believes that “…each person has to document his or her own positive talents and strengths.”  Dr. Holstein further explains that what society tells us and shows us “… are external measures. Each of us needs to develop a sense of self-worth, a capacity for positive self-regard that comes from within.”


So how do we go about building one’s self esteem?  As we mentioned in a previous article, this can be done in a variety of ways.  At Forte Strong, we believe that the first step is to understand what one’s strengths truly are.  Our students receive a strength assessment upon arriving that is then used to build what we call a “Confidence Resume®”.  One of the important features this Confidence Resume® provides our students is a detailed list outlining and describing the unique talents and strengths that are particular to them.  This vital tool is then used to give them a clear understanding of what strengths and talents they can apply every single day to accomplish their goals, no matter how big or how small.  The Confidence Resume® is also used as a safety net of sorts to help prevent young men from spiraling into a depression when they become discouraged.  So, you didn’t get that job, that raise, that position… so what! Those things don’t define you nor do they decide your worth. Instead, we take a different approach… we take a step back, we see the situation for what it is and we revisit their Confidence Resume® reminding them once again of their potential!  This approach has been very effective at reestablishing the confidence and positive outlook these young men need to bounce back from the disappointments of life.

Remember, a clearer understanding of your strengths equates to a higher degree of self-esteem, self-respect and self-confidence which ultimately translates into success.  This is what we do at Forte Strong.  It may take time, but we can help you get there!




About the Author

Matthew Arrington grew up in Southern California and has a deep fondness for the ocean and water in general. He’s lived in most of the western united states and attended school in Oregon, where he earned a few degrees in business including, marketing, leadership and organizational management and a Masters in Business. Matt has a huge passion for working with young men to increase their chances of success and credits his current success to the many positive male role models that helped him grow into manhood.